#3. Black Keys on The Piano

I know that it’s been a while since I’ve posted here, but this apparently was a must post! Playing the Piano fills people of African Descent with so much joy due to the fact that we have been pioneers of it through the more fulfilling art form of Jazz.  One thing that needs to be stressed is the apparent representation of America on the piano.  What other instrument has a black minority base surrounded by obnoxious white keys? Leave it to the Piano. What baffles people from the black community is that the keys are termed “minors”. This is disgusting to us, does everything colored black need to be thought of as minor?  I have a lot of respect for those keys. constantly entwined in a world engulfed by whiteness, everyday being played and left to being touched only when you want something to sound dark or scary. The nerve of white people never ceases to amaze us. The next time your playing the piano remember your really playing Frederick Douglass, Harriet Tubman, and Kwame Toure.  

#2. Spontaneously Bringing up Slavery

  There is nothing more comforting (well, there’s hearing the comedy of Paul Mooney) than helping some uneducated person from another race realize that without your ancestors there wouldn’t be an America. Rubbing it in their face provides black people with extreme pleasure! Especially when, among other things, white people have history in the clutches of their expensive sandwich eating claws. Our partners at stuff-white-people-like should think about placing this on their list #99. Pretending Slavery Didn’t Happen. It allows them to maintain, in addition to their color-blindness, historical-blindness also. And, bringing up Slavery also gets white people to uncomfortably change the subject to something stupid. It will probably be about Quantum Physics or Moleskin notebooks.

How nerve racking is it (being black) to hear about the first white guy to sleep in the “White House” ( apparently America doesn’t give credit where it is due) and not hear about the people who built it. That’s like hearing about the patriots, with no reference to Bill Belichick. Without his coaching talents where would the Patriots be? I know your getting the bigger picture here.

The next time, your the only Black person around, which in these days could only happen in Starbucks, College, or New England, take pride in the fact that slaves of African descent built the best and safest country in the world…under the auspices of extraterrestrial religious fanatics(opinions subject to change if Paul McCain has his way!) We also have reason to believe that they also built chiseled Mt. Rushmore.  Do your own research.

#1. White People In Distress.

Due to recent advancements within the increasingly popular black community, one can witness certain situations that intrigue, shock and satisfy the black urge to see someone white having trouble with anything. With whites moving in to impoverished communities to exercise their love of “knowing whats best for poor people”(stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com) one can often spot them in “urban wards” with a look of bewilderment because among other things, there isn’t a whole-foods in close proximity.

It really doesn’t matter what it is as long as it apparently frustrating the said white person.

Black Girl1: Look that white ladies very expensive umbrella seems to be flapping uncontrollably due to these harsh winds. (they are in Chicago, of course.)

Black Girl2: She seems very frustrated…( said in a tone of acute delightfulness)

White Lady: Ughhhh…damn umbrella…How frustrating…I’m moving to canada!

Black Girl1: wow! I guess there’s a first time for everything.

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